Thursday our home officially “re-opened”. Friday afternoon, my phone rang. It was a number from “Georgetown” which is over an hour away. Seconds went by and ultimately I froze and let it go to voicemail. Pretty sure I did the same thing the last time we got “the call” (ha)… it is scary knowing your life may be “flipped, turned upside down” (thanks Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air) after speaking to the worker on the other end of the phone.
I was fairly certain it was DCBS (Department for Community Based Services, i.e– Foster Care)… but usually they call from an area code nearby. Soon after, my phone dinged and a voicemail awaited. I listened immediately, texted my husband (“Aaaaaand we may have a placement”), and called back for more details.
Turns out the worker was helping our nearby workers and thus the distant area code. There was a baby, just days old, at a hospital near us, in need of a home and family. She told me the specific circumstances and I took notes on a paper I had near me in my closet where I was reading and having quiet time (yes, I pray/read/reflect in my closet ha).
Like with each conversation during the placement calls we have received since licensing a year ago, my heart broke for the child and I immediately wanted to interrupt her and say “YES, yes we will take him/her/them… when can we pick him/her/them up?”. As a mom, it is hard to imagine a baby or child without a parent/caregiver present to protect & love them. The minutes that go by feel like missed opportunities for bonding, snuggling, loving… you want to immediately start the (complicated) healing process for the child & not allow another hour to go by. You instantly start imagining your life with that child and feel a connection beginning to form. This particular child was yet to be named, but usually, once I hear the name spoken, something ginormous happens… it suddenly feels real and raw and that name changes you, forever.
One particularly challenging moment since we said goodbye to our foster daughter (FD) we had from birth-8 months occurred for me when I was showering and noticed a new brand of body wash my husband had that closely resembles our (previous)FD’s name (the brand name was off by one letter). The grief hit me like a ton of bricks. Their name forever changes you, the “YES” you say to the placement worker FOREVER changes you. It is unlike anything I have ever experienced before… a leap of faith that feels like jumping from a mountain top and just praying God sends angels to keep you from smashing into the ground. And He does…He will…He makes the seemingly impossible, possible. He equips, and provides, and qualifies the highly unqualified like myself. I have seen him show up more in the past year than ever in my 30 previous years of life. If you wanna see God like you’ve never seen Him before, JUMP. Do something scary that He has laid on your heart… something that seems ridiculous and unattainable. He.will.provide.
Long story short, we are still a family of four. Quick timeline of events: We said yes, the worker put me on hold, learned some new information, said she would call me back, called back 15 or 20 minutes later & said they no longer needed us for this particular child. I cannot share specifics but I am confident that God has a different circumstance/child/children/family He has planned for us to love on & support. The worker told us that, sadly & unfortunately, they are having “a lot of referrals” coming in lately and to not expect our phones to stay silent long.
That was 48 hours ago. So please continue to pray. Pray for all those circumstances and people behind the many incoming referrals. Pray that God heals and restores. Pray for us, that He prepares our hearts and home for the next call. And that His will be done.
Not my will, Lord, but Yours be done.
W/ Love, Angela
** If you wish to follow our journey, click “MENU” and “follow blog” and enter your email to receive email updates on latest posts. Also, if you have ever considered fostering & have questions don’t hesitate to reach out via the comments or “Contact Me”. I’m happy to share what I have learned from the process and from others walking this journey far longer than us. There will never be the “perfect time”… just JUMP.