I have a new writing partner. She is asleep, next to me in the Rock n’ play. A whole 7 and a half pounds (and counting… girl is a champ at eating). She’s precious as ever.
We will use that as her nickname (for confidentiality purposes)– “Precious”.
It was Tuesday that our lives changed once again. Foster care is an adventure for sure. Just last week I was complaining to my husband that I was “almost bored”. I got used to the pace of having 3 kids when “Sweetheart” was with us & ever since she left I have felt a little bit more empty (each day gets easier but I still miss her so much).
It was nice to have more time to relax, to sleep, to read and bake, and to spend more time with friends & family during our weeks of waiting. Two kids definitely feels easier. But I wrestled with thoughts of what would be next. I have never been good at being at peace when the unknown is looming. Which is funny because in this foster care journey NOTHING is known or certain. Except that God’s got this. He knows what is next & I am confident in His ways and plans.
When we got the call Tuesday morning, my husband and I felt confident in our “YES”, only because we have experienced God showing up in amazing ways when we do. He teaches us, guides us, stretches us, and provides for us. I have yet to feel completely overwhelmed or alone in this journey…and that says a lot for an anxious soul like me.
“The call” came as I was dropping our 4 year old off to preschool. I was staying to attend their Halloween party & had a little bit of time before we needed to be in the gym for games. So I called the caseworker back to talk and discuss the possible placement. The bulk of our conversation occurred in a closet area just beside their church sanctuary..the only quiet and private place I could quickly find. Afterwards, I hung up with the worker and called my husband who was at work.
I explained to him that there was a newborn baby girl ready to be discharged from a nearby hospital who was in need of a home, TODAY. But that’s not all, I continued. She has a brother who would also transition (from a different home to ours) to live with her (they try to keep siblings together if at ALL possible & we stated that we support this 100%). A little guy who is not yet walking. What did he think? Was I crazy for thinking we should say yes to adding 2 kids to our family who would both need carried & lots and lots of love?
We talked a few minutes and ultimately decided that we need to say yes. Yes to growing our family from 4 to 6. Yes to adding 4 more feet (that do not walk on their own yet…). Yes to more unknown, to more sleepless nights, to more appointments and visitations, to more mouths to feed and bums to wipe.
But here’s the thing that has always comforted me in all of this–We feel strongly that God told us to do this (Read– The Crazy Story of How God Called Us to Fostering: Risk or Paralysis ?). And we know He qualifies & equips those He calls. So while this all seems crazy and impossible, we know He will make it work. Not only will He make it work though, He will bring beauty and joy out of it all & use our family and this broken situation to draw us and others closer to Him.
SO Tuesday afternoon I stopped by Panera to pick up sweets for the nurses (because I was one and I know afternoons with sweets in the break room make getting through the shift a little easier), and then drove to the hospital. As I drove in silence I prayed & just asked God to meet us here again (Read– “Will You Meet Me Here Again?”). I parked in the garage and walked in to find labor and delivery. Upon finding the nurses station I nervously explained that I am the foster mom here to pick up “Precious”. Her nurse was there and took me to an empty room. A social worker met us both in there and I showed my Driver’s License and Foster ID card and we talked about Precious and how all this would best happen. Soon after, the nurse left and came back with the sweetest baby girl. She gave us some time alone and I called the pediatrician to make her first appointment (required before I was discharged with her), changed her, and then snuggled her rocking her in the rocking chair and singing and talking to her.
It was SO surreal, so heartbreaking. I thought of and prayed for the mother in some other room who just experienced immense loss. I couldn’t get her off my mind, still cannot. This world is broken & moments like this make me realize all the more how much we all need faith in God. Because without Him this would all be too much.
I was then given discharge instructions and escorted outside by the sweet nurse who cared for us. She waited with Sweetheart by the entrance while I pulled the car up. Then we loaded her up and I took her home & we have felt so blessed in caring for her ever since.
Her brother will join us sometime next week & we cannot wait to meet him and love on him too! More on that to come : )
My blogs may be more to the point & less frequent but I’ll try my best to keep everyone updated (…hard to find time to write!).
Please pray for us as we transition from a family of 4 to a family of 6. Pray for Precious’ mother. Pray for her brother. And pray for God’s will to be done in all of this.
I hope everyone enjoyed the extra hour last night (I know I did!).